Tour of Flanders 2014


Spring


Straight after a soggy winter spring brings us flowers, lambs, showers etc. And the start of the racing season for cycling. Of course  there are races in the international calendar all over the world from the start of the year, Oman, Australia etc but these are new and lack the tradition that cycling loves. The real season starts for many with Milan San-Remo, the race to the sun. Then the racing circus moves north to the lowlands of Belgium, France, The Netherlands. No romantic alpine passes but usually wind, rain, mud and cobbles.




Cobbles.


Slippery, uneven, unforgiving cobbles. Here in Plymouth some cobbled roads have been retained in the historic Barbican and maybe that’s why I’ve had an interest in them for years.  But I don’t like to ride them, which is odd given the rest of this…

Flanders


The first of the Spring Classics is the Ronde Van Vlaaderen, the Tour of Flanders. That bit of Belgium that’s obsessed with cycling whose flag has been hijacked for years by cycling fans and waved all over the world, the rampant lion on a yellow background. For the Pros this race is over 250 km, starting in Bruges heading south to Oudenaarde along relatively flat, tarmacked, roads. After that often-brisk warm up they start a convoluted series of loops that deliberately search out stretches of cobbles, flat cobbles and cobbled climbs. And as I found out cobbled descents.  

I’m no Pro.


Obviously. I’m pretty much your stereotypical MAMIL, more so after an accident in February kept me off the bike for 6 weeks and I’ve had very limited time on the saddle since. But there I was in Oudenaarde on Friday 4th April at registration for the Ronde Van Vlaaderen Cyclo, me and 15,999 others, a collective that made me look normal.

Up to this point my knowledge of Belgium was: Chocolate, frites, beer and from an earlier trip to Bruges, Flemish beef stew. All good stuff but this had not prepared me for the Germanic organisation skills on show here, before I had a chance to queue I was furnished with my entry pack, finisher’s medal and t-shirt. Crazy Belgians. Hours spent in the town square soaking up the atmosphere, Colnago, Pinarello, Giant, Specialized, Cervelo, Shimano and Campag. Carbon everything with a titanium garnish. 23mm rubber everywhere. Sleek, fast bikes, more than I’ve seen in one place at any time. And the AG2R team bus lapping the one-way system, maybe they need to talk to Garmin Pro Cycling for directions. Or maybe they were watching something on Sky.

So what did I bring to the party. No 23mm tyres or titanium for me, a bit of carbon but stuck at either end of my cyclocross bike. 28mm rubber, the Tesco of tyres, every little (bit of grip) helps. I feel like I’ve brought a family hatchback to a F1 race. But it’s not about the bike, is it? Sadly for me it’s not just the tyres on the bike that are oversized but hey ho, I’m in Belgium, pass me another beer, dank-u. 

Race Face.


Saturday, drive from the B&B in Ghent, lovely place. Down the dual carriageway back to Oudenaarde. The only yellow van in Belgium surrounded in the queue by cars and each one has a bike rack. Directed by heavily armed police to a parking spot in the Samsonite Office car park I unpack the bike, even more conscious now that it’s not a race bike. There’s a chill in the air so pull on some knee warmers and my other riding kit, pop a painkiller, or two, and ride.

It doesn’t take long to get used to riding on the ‘wrong’ side of the road, just follow everyone else. Roll downhill to the start and as I already have my event number attached correctly I’m waved through. So far so good. Tarmac, I like tarmac. A 5km warm up, roads, cycle path, road again, all pancake flat and a little urban, then alongside a wide river, view improving, gaps forming in the peloton, while my neck is damaged my legs feel OK so I’m closing those gaps and frankly having fun. Told by a Belgian that I’ve got a good bike for this. He likes my brakes.

At 5km the peloton splits, 99% turn left and I go straight on. Billy no mates with a dodgy neck missing the 10km of flat cobbles everyone else is about to do. Instead of the 133km route I’m on the 75 km, fewer cobbles but I still get to ride the famous ones, famous if you’re a cyclist.

Food zone, wow! More here than any food stop in the UK, in fact add them all together from last year’s events and they’ll fall short of this. Would be rude not to take something even though I’m loaded for a UK event, honey waffle please and two tubes of honey to go. And ride.

Koppenberg.


Berg means hill, Koppen must mean steep and slippery. Thank goodness it’s dry. Others walk from the bottom but not me, the one benefit of having left the masses earlier is that this is a quiet climb, really quiet. Later it will be a logjam of walkers, too many to cycle. So I can engage 36 x 28 and chug my way up. There’s nothing graceful about an overweight me on a chubby bike on cobbles on a 22% hill but I’m not going to walk this. It feels like I’m holding onto a pneumatic drill, the impact from each cobble felt all the way from my wrists to my shoulders, and in both legs. Wobble. To stand on the pedals will mean wheel spin and failure so I sit, grind it out. 11 km/h. The metric system seems so much faster than imperial.

Steenbeekdries


Words cannot do this justice, only 2km but some of it downhill, 42 km/h on cobbles. Cheered by a small crowd who must appreciate the laws of physics, big lads go fast downhill, braking would be a bad idea, if I could keep my hands on the brake levers. I pass dozens of riders as I have little choice in the matter. Don’t even notice the bump over the railway crossing at the bottom. Check my fillings, appear to have them all. I ache all over.

Taaienberg.



Less steep and more cobbly but someone thoughtfully has put a concrete gutter at the side. Thanks. Used that all the way to the top, someone must have noticed because the pros find it barricaded off the following day.  No walkers here, it’s quite nice and almost refreshing after Steenbeekdries.





Oude Kwaremont.


The Belgian’s favourite as we find out on Sunday, sharing this hill with about 10,000 others inches from pro riders who ascend this little berg several times faster than me. But looking at their faces I know who enjoyed it most. Fabian C, then me. I think Ode Kwaremont must mean beer garden.



Paterberg




The daddy of the bergs. The last one. The biggest reputation, the biggest crowd. I will not stop here. I will ride to the top and that fat Belgian will not stop me, “Move!” works in all languages if said the right way. He moves to the right, I continue. Steeper, more spectators, not used to this on an event that I’d ride. Encouragement in Belgian, Dutch, German, French and English.  It’s a big event, people come a long way for it, and they are without exception, friendly.  Back wheel slips on some polished blue granite sets, brake, deep breath and in less time than it took to type this I’m moving again. Years of MTBing on Dartmoor holding me in good stead for that one moment, no panic and apply just the right amount of force. Make the top and people clap. I could dance like Pharrell, but I’d fall off so I carry on.  Regardless.

Home run


15km of flat. Give up following wheels after nearly coming a cropper, foolish to follow an unknown wheel at speed. Get my breath back and then drop him. 35 – 36 km/h cruising along, not even in top gear, zone 3 spinning easing my neck as much as I can. Catch two others on a section of cycle path that runs counter to traffic, wonder what to do and hear a whistle from behind me, I’ve got a drag artist that knows what to do, the pair move and I accelerate past. No indication that my new friend will work with me but that suits me, trust and all that, and I’m a big rider for him to shelter behind. Over the next 10km my single friend gains more friends and at about 2km from the official finish I have maybe 12 riders behind me. Feels great. At 1.5km the road is closed to other traffic,1km and the red flag that the pros will see on Sunday hangs over the center of the road, all hell breaks loose behind me as the Belgium MAMIL sprint championship starts. For a minute I’m exactly like the domestique who has been used to get the star to the end of the race. I think about chasing knowing I’ve got loads left in the tank but leave them to it and cross the line a few seconds after them, bunny hop the timing ramp to the amusement of the technicians and then roll towards the town centre, passing my wife who was unaware I’d get around so quickly, under 3 hours in the end, not bad.  And I earnt another beer.

Sunday - Race Day



More organization skills from the organizers who have free parking and busses for all.  And it runs without a hitch, blissfully unaware of where we would end up we get on a bus from Oudenaarde and arrive at the bottom of Ode Kwaremont.



The bars are already serving and the burgers are swimming in strong mustard. Free hats, Flandrien flags and like minded people. 4 sets of racers pass and we see the decisive move from Fabian C, a single Swiss rider getting free with 3 Belgians. All top riders, all ‘names’, all strong.


Watching the finish on a big screen we wonder what might happen if FC wins, how will 10,000 Belgians react… cheers all around as he takes the sprint from 3 vans.  A perfect alcoholic mix of happiness and disappointment garnished with frites and waffles.